May 25, 2017: A Testimony of a Life that was Changed
Mark 5:18-20 (NIV)
18 As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him.
19 Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”
20 So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.
When I was just fifteen, my mother was diagnosed with a disease that took her from me in less than two months. My mother was my best friend. I could not imagine living life without her. In less than two months, I had lost my mother and I had no one to help me through my teenage years.
My mom and dad had a great marriage and they always encouraged me to live for Christ no matter what. When my mother died, I blamed God for taking my mom and jettisoned the whole idea of God. My dad spent a lot of his time working trying to pay the bills and he did not have the time he needed with me. He gave me what he could but it would not fill the vacuum that my mom left.
I began to fill that vacuum with other things. I began to hang around a group of students in high school that were popular and looked like they had everything going for them. That was the beginning of several years of making one bad decision after another.
When I was nineteen, I was a sophomore at another university in this state and I found myself at a party. I knew I should not be there, I had been warned that nothing good happens there but I really needed to find something that would numb the pain I was feeling.
It all happened so fast that night. I was offered a drink and the next thing I know I found myself several hours later curled up in a corner of the party house. I had no idea what had happened to me. It was not until a few weeks later I learned what had happened. I discovered I was pregnant. Talk about confusing and emotional. I was a real basket case.
I remember screaming at God, “If this is the way you are going to treat me when all I am looking for is something to numb my pain then I don’t want anything to do with you.”
I could not see how God was going to use my pain to help me see my need for him.